My son sat his learner licence test recently and passed. I was so excited for him as we left the testing office and headed off to buy the L plates for my car. I’m not sure where I dreamt up the idea that getting your learner licence magically turned you into a competent driver.

The penny dropped. I’m going to have to teach him how to drive, in 6 months’ time he will be driving around on his own, and most frightening of all, teenagers’ brains are only partially developed! 

I considered these thoughts and drove us home as I didn’t want him tackling the open roads and rain on his first drive with me. I turned into our street and pulled over to park the car.

We excitedly got out of the car and changed seats. I exhaled a long deep breath and put on my seatbelt. My son adjusted the driver’s seat so he could actually get in the car, checked the mirrors, shifted the gear stick from park into drive, and figured out that in order to take the hand break off, he had to push the button at the same time.

The family wagon started to roll down the hill at a snail’s pace, it was exhilarating. So far so good, and then we approached our driveway. “Brake, brake,” I said as we bounced up the curb. As we travelled slowly up the driveway I decided to abort the mission to turn into the place where I would usually park. The fence on the left and the parked van on the right seemed alarmingly close. 

Now that we had conquered the cul-de-sac it was time to hit some quiet nearby streets. Here is a piece of advice; when you set off for a drive, plan your route and tell your learner driver exactly where they are going. Do not make it up on the way.

If you do, you can expect your learner driver to make a sharp right-hand turn as they overshoot the road you tell them to go down, bounce up the curb and swerve out of the way of a parked car with a boat on a trailer.

After that drive, we decided it was a good idea to head off to a local suburb with wide streets and practically no traffic. We were not alone though, with a top speed of 20kms and an interesting road position, we knew we were in the company of another learner driver. 

And then there was the poor cyclist who was out for a Sunday ride. It must have been terrifying for him as our station wagon sat in his slipstream waiting for the chance to overtake him.

Not every parent will have the right temperament or even the desire to teach their kids how to drive. To become confident drivers our learners need to experience driving in different weather conditions, at a range of speeds, (Lord help us), intersections and traffic. 

They also need to create good habits and be aware of potential risks and distractions, such as pedestrians, dogs on the side of the road, and cyclists. As well as road positioning and parking.

So with that in mind, we have turned to the professionals. Our driving instructor is well informed on all the road rules, rules I didn’t know even existed, experienced and calm, and she has dual pedals in her car. They work much better than my invisible brake.

The advice I got from our instructor was to start off with a few lessons back to back and then practice as much as possible with a parent. Then when it’s nearly time for your teen to sit the practical test, have a few more professional lessons to make sure they are on track to pass the test.

Learning to drive can feel a bit scary and exciting for both you and your teen. As parents, we have to give up some control and trust our teen behind the wheel. While our teens have to take on responsibility for themselves and other road users as they try and master a new set of skills. 

And isn’t the parenting journey just like that? A balance of releasing control at the right time, trusting our teens to make good choices, and preparing them to be confident and responsible as they transition into their young adult years.