If your teenager is in a relationship then the chances are that sooner or later they will experience the pain of a breakup. My thesaurus defines rejection as, “A slap in the face, no dice, no go, no way, thumbs down.” Harsh I know, but that’s not even the worst part. After your teen’s first breakup there are likely to be others!

Breaking up with someone is hard, even for the person who made the decision to end the relationship. There will be a sense of loss and loneliness, and your teen may question their self-worth or what they did wrong. Author Kari Kampakis says, “A priest once told me that dating is about rejection, and the purpose of dating is to find the one person you’re meant to marry. This eases the sting of rejection.”

Staying in a relationship with the wrong person is sometimes easier than breaking up, but it is not a healthy decision. If things weren’t going well between the couple there might be feelings of relief when it’s finally over.
Breaking up with someone is an opportunity to learn about yourself and dating. It is a chance to process feelings and work out what you liked or didn’t like about being in a relationship, and what you will miss.

5 Reflective Questions For After A Breakup

• Did I have to change who I was while in the relationship?
• Was I mostly happy or was there a lot of stress?
• Did I set good physical and emotional boundaries?
• What do I need to be aware of when I start dating someone else? 
• Did I breakup with the person respectfully and with kindness?

If your teen has been sexually active in their relationship then the breakup can be even harder as there are much deeper emotional ties. Mary Grant, author of Growing Great Girls says, “A guy your daughter thinks is really cool at 15 might not have the same interests and passions as her at 25. If you haven’t had sex then it is much easier to move on from a relationship.” 

Your teen will probably go through phases of feeling okay to feeling sad about the breakup. As parents, we can use this opportunity to love and support the broken-hearted. When the timing is right you can remind them that they can still have a great life without being in a relationship.

5 Fun Things About Being A Single Teen

• You can spend more time hanging out with your friends or take up a new hobby
• Relationships can be time consuming but now you can enjoy some “me time”
• Your school work might improve because you won’t be as distracted
• You get to be a kid again and have some fun without the intensity that comes with a relationship
• You can use this time to be picky about a future boyfriend or girlfriend

It’s no fun watching your teen go through a breakup, but hopefully, they will learn from the experience and bounce back stronger. If they want to listen, share your own breakup stories, and give them extra everything with a cherry on top. In time their broken heart will heal. 

“So let us remind you of a simple human truth, breakups hurt, even when you only went out for three lunchtimes.” – The Parenting Place