To all the first-born teenagers out there, we are sorry and we love you. When you were first placed in your mother’s arms, red-faced, screaming, and wrapped like a burrito, we really had no idea how to parent you well. There was no instruction manual or how-to guide so we learned as we grew together, a bit of an experiment really. But the upside is we got to experience all the ‘firsts’ together, and you are the only one with a completed baby book. 

Everything was going just fine for you until that second baby came along, and then it all changed, especially the rules. We weren’t as nervous or tightly wound up with your sibling as this wasn’t our ‘first rodeo’. We were more relaxed and tired so we may have let things slide a bit, like the rules. But isn’t it great that you are not alone in this inequality? Just ask any of your first-born buddies and I’m sure they will agree that younger siblings get away with more than what they did at their age. In fact, I already asked them and there was a resounding cry of “They get away with absolutely everything!”

Everything is such a strong word so I asked these first-born teenagers to be a little more specific.

“I would mostly say talking back to Mum and Dad.”

“I had a time limit on gaming on school days and my brother doesn’t as long as his homework is done, and I wasn’t allowed a gaming computer until I was 15 and my 13-year-old brother already has one.”

“My first phone was a Huawei, my sister’s was an iPhone.”

“My parents just give in to my younger brother when he argues with them, it’s like they can’t be bothered.”

“I wasn’t allowed any devices in my room but my younger sister is.”

“My brother is allowed way more screen time than I ever was when I was 14.”

“My 13-year-old sister didn’t have to wait as long as I did to get her ears pierced and she is allowed to wear makeup too.”

“I don’t think my parents check my sister’s phone or know her password like they did with me.”

I know it is hard to stomach the injustice of a rule change. I understand as I am a rule keeper and a justice seeker. But you and I both know that we are all individuals, unique in temperament and personality. So it makes sense that not all of the rules are going to be a perfect fit for everyone. 

Your 15-year-old sibling might be more mature than the 15-year-old you of the past. So we might decide to be a bit more lenient on a particular rule in that circumstance. I know you can probably hear the hooting and cheering coming from your younger sibling, but don’t be discouraged, rule-changing can go both ways.

As a first-born, I’m sure you have great habits around using your phone and social media. First-borns are known to be responsible. So we trust you to make good decisions and we leave you and your phone to it. But, we can already see that the aforementioned sibling still has a long way to go in the area of self-control, so the chances are they won’t get the same phone freedom as you did. 

So take heart first-borns, you were the ones who made us parents. You have paved the way and set a standard for your younger siblings. And just so you know, almost every astronaut who has gone into space was the first-born child. Yes we were overprotective, strict and a little bit demanding, but we know you have developed some fantastic habits and character traits that will serve you well.