Parenting is not for wimps. My doctor recently told me that when her youngest child left home she realised she had been tired for 20 years! There is so much to keep on top of while we try to raise decent human beings.

Communication is so important during the teen years. Even if our kids think we are old or irrelevant, they are still watching what we do, and listening to what we say. I want to cultivate a relationship where my kids won’t necessarily tell me everything, but they know they can tell me anything. 

Our values, opinions and beliefs can help our teens make sense of the messages they are receiving daily through the online, and real world. 

This is why it is important to have conversations about big topics before we need to. It might be a bit late to start yelling out the rules around drinking while your teen is walking out the door to their first party. 

Most teenagers aren’t drinking because they are wine connoisseurs, they are drinking with the objective to get drunk. Sadly, New Zealand has a binge drinking culture, and we need to prepare our kids and talk about the effects and consequences of underage drinking.

Research shows that the teenage brain is still developing, so delaying drinking alcohol for as long as possible is the safest thing to do. 

Binge drinking in adolescents leads to more negative behaviour than in adults, such as blackouts, unplanned and unwanted sexual activity, fights, accidents and drink driving.

Alcohol affects different parts of the brain. Here are 3 examples from the “talk it out website” which explain changes that happen in the brain while drinking.

The prefrontal cortex often called the control centre of the brain, is responsible for judgment, behaviour and impulse control. It’s one of the areas of the adolescent brain most affected by alcohol

The cerebellum controls balance, muscle coordination and contributes to memory formation. Drinking alcohol inhibits motor function and slows reaction time – which is why it’s so difficult and dangerous to drive after drinking. 

The hippocampus is key for memory and learning. Some of the most serious alcohol-related brain damage during adolescence happens here. Alcohol can block a key receptor responsible for processing and storing memories; this effect is more pronounced in adolescents than in adults with fully developed brains. Adolescent brains are also much more sensitive to alcohol toxicity and are more vulnerable to cell death.

For more information about the teenage brain and its response to alcohol go to talkitoutnc.org.

According to alcohol.org.nz, most teens get alcohol from a parent, caregiver or family member. And that there is a belief that introducing alcohol to your teenager at home is a way of teaching them to drink responsibly.

Unfortunately, research shows that the younger kids or teens start drinking, the more likely they will go on to drink harmfully in their late teens and adult life. 

They go on to say, that if 15-17-year-olds do drink, they should be supervised, and drink infrequently at levels below and never exceeding adult daily limits.

As well as brain health, we also discuss with our older teens what the law says about drinking, peer pressure, how alcohol affects behaviour, and how to help someone who is drunk at a party. And our kids know we will pick them up at any hour from a party if things get out of hand or they don’t want to be there.

Drinking is not an easy conversation to have with teenagers. They will have their own very strong opinions about the subject too. But, they are growing and maturing, so these talks can be really interesting, and not necessarily something to dread.