Sometimes I think teenagers get a bad rap. We live in a culture that fears and dreads the teenage years. It’s like we get persuaded to expect the worst from our young people. If this is the message that teenagers are hearing, should it be a surprise to us when they fulfil that role?

My son recently told me (yes, he is fifteen and he still speaks to me in full sentences) that he had been learning about liminality at school. I had to look up the definition. Liminality; a place of in-betweenness. Not quite an adult, but no longer a child.

With that in mind, it’s easy to see that being a teenager is hard work. They want to be autonomous but still need our guidance to make good choices, as their brains are still developing. Teenagers feel more than they think. Asking “What were you thinking?” might not be helpful, as your teen probably wasn’t thinking as much as they were feeling.

Teenagers use the emotional part of their brain. The rational part of the brain isn’t fully developed until around twenty-five years old. And the connection between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making centre are still developing. 

I am learning and growing with my two teens. I’m trying to ditch the micro-management and provide opportunities for decision making and natural consequences. I’m trying to cut them some slack and be understanding, while still having boundaries in place to protect them. They will make mistakes, and they will let me down at times.

But, what matters most to me in my relationship with my teens is communication, trust, honesty and respect.

So, to encourage you and to celebrate the teenagers in your life, I have come up with ten things I love about teenagers.

1. They are funny. Their sense of humour and wit is more sophisticated now, so their jokes, sarcasm and comments are actually amusing.
2. You can have lively conversations with them. Teens have strong opinions, great ideas and fantastic debating skills, (especially when they are trying to get out of something).
3. Their height and strength. Now that they are bigger and stronger they can be quite helpful around the house. I love that they can help carry in the groceries.
4. They can baby sit. Do I need to say more.
5. They can start earning. This is the age where our teens have the potential to earn an income outside of the home, and learn valuable life skills in the process.
6. They are knowledgable. Especially in the area of technology, my son has got me out of several technical jams.
7. They form great friendships. Teenagers are loyal, and friends are everything to them. I love to see how much fun they have together and the way they communicate.
8. They are becoming independent. Teens can do so much more for themselves as they aren’t helpless little preschoolers anymore.
9. They are interesting. From the clothes they wear to the music they listen to.
10. They keep us young. If I don’t want to appear ‘irrelevant’ I have to keep up with what my teens are in to. I don’t always like it, but I still want to be able to understand where they are at.
11. They are passionate. This generation seems to be passionate about our environment, social justice, and tolerance. Not only this, but teens can be pretty passionate about most things, relationships, shoes, not doing the dishes.

(Turns out I couldn’t stop at ten)