In my last post, I talked about unlimited screen time and how we were trialling that in our home during the lockdown.
Our ‘all you can eat’ philosophy of being online was working pretty well, mostly. But then I started to witness some pretty dark moods and attitudes in my kids.
That made me feel a bit stressed and concerned about their well-being and mental health. I jumped to the conclusion that these bad moods must be the result of their digital smorgasbord.
So I did what I do best, and I started to research and look for advice on what to do for a teenager in lockdown who isn’t motivated and seems unhappy.
I listened to our Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern interview psychologist and author Nigel Latta.
He had this to say about teenagers, “They are going to be grumpy and unhappy, and if they just want to retreat to their room for 4 weeks, and you see them at the end, that’s ok. Just let them do it.”
We still need to monitor our teen’s moods, grumpy and unhappy is ok, but being tearful a lot of the time and changes in appetite or not enjoying what they used to love may be more of a concern.
Nigel Latta goes on to say how important contact with their friends is, and that devices and all the different platforms are hugely important as part of their connection.
“Don’t worry if they live the vampire lifestyle, which is, they are up till 2 o’clock in the morning and they get up at 1 o’clock,” says Nigel.
It’s important to remember that this is lockdown advice and not a long term strategy. Eventually, we will get out of lockdown, and return to our familiar routines and rhythms.
“Our most important job as parents in this time is to keep things calm at home, avoid conflict and tolerate a bit more chaos.“ Nigel Latta
Hi I'm Robayne, a freelance writer and mum of two delightful teenagers. Parenting teens is quite the journey so I have created this space as a way to share stories and connect with others who are walking the same path. I have studied freelance journalism at the NZ Writers College and I create content over at
Yes, one of my teens has become a bit of a Vampire much to the disgust of my hubby!! I’ve got more of a go with the flow attitude at the moment (very unlike me as I’m normally the control freak!) so it’s not concerning at all. Her eating habits also were of concern but when I realised she was still eating (and reasonably healthy food too) I settled down. She wasn’t necessarily eating at the “normal” times, she was eating when she was hungry!!! My younger teen likes to keep busy though, which has meant she’s doing more around the place including baking. Which is awesome 🙂 But not for the waistline!!
Sounds similar to my house. My younger teen is keeping herself really busy, and is quite enjoying being in lockdown. My older teen is definitely living the life of a vampire and missing his freedom. The goal for us during lockdown is to have a happy and calm home while we are adapting to our new normal. And that’s not always easy!
Oh wow! You have no idea how your words (and Mr. Latta’s) reassured me!! I’ve been fretting over my kids’ massive increase in screen time, but I’m honestly not highly motivated to charge in and wrangle them into other activities. I’m tired too, and trying to find a form of escape as well. Thanks for this! Hang in there, Mama!!
I’m so pleased that you were encouraged, I too felt reassured after listening to the wisdom of Nigel Latta. We sure are living a very different life to what we are used to. Thank you for saying that you are tired, ME TOO! ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’, so take care of yourself xx